Make Barcelona great again

Chin up, guys. All of us have been Trumped, but life goes on. Being back to my city after three exciting months at Hollywood made me rethink my life purpose: I'll focus in making Barcelona great again. How will I do it? Taking LA as an example. 

- First and foremost, I learned it's really important to prevent people from walking on the street. Hello, Barcelona hippies? Get a fucking car already!

- Speak of the devil, if we want Barceloneta to be somehow similar to Venice beach we must place some leaf-eater hippies on the sand immediately. That shouldn't be difficult task - we got plenty of them. Just make sure they are provided with illegal exotic animals like snakes and parrots, there is a constant current of pott smoke in the air, and dogs are dirty enough to put off a long-term german couchsurfer.

This could be Venice, bitch

- Demolish Sagrada Familia (please!). That'd be sick. And no one would complain. Ever.

- Last but not least, we need a way more dangerous subway. Barcelona won't be an A-list capital city until our underground transportation becomes as deathly as in any city of the U.S.

That's it. Well, there's probably more to say but I'm done with bulleted lists.

Which reminds me: Bullets, we'd also need way more bullets.

Raval

Raval is probably the best and worth place on earth. A few years ago it was well-known by all Barceona citizens because you could be walking around there and be stolen, raped, and killed twice before you realized.

Luckily, Batman arrived and kicked out all criminals from this district. I'm kidding, actually gentrification kicked in. That means builders spotted the opportunity of transforming this centric district into a fancy and fashionable place-to-be. Therefore huge hotels have been built, new cool shops and restaurants were opened, and people who couldn't pay the rent went to... Uh whatever, who cares??

Good old times no one would be fucking around

Nowadays it is a really nice place to go out at night for cheaper prices that average in da city. You'll find drunk backpackers, drunk tourists, drunk pickpockets, and drunk artists. How cool is that?

Fear and loathing in Poble Nou

After almost one year living in Poble Nou I truly believe I am allowed to analyze this RCN district and explain here all its pros and cons. Oops sorry, poble nou is the old fashioned name, now it is being called 22@ by hipsters and community managers.

22@ is located next to the bitch beach, in the northern part of da city. Since it is not really close to the center, it is still keeping its old identity with ancient stores, catalan children, and barça supporters. Nevertheless, gentrification has been lately kicking in, and all of this cute cosy atmosphere is mixing with 5 stars russian hotels and Dubai-shaped skyscrappers. Hey, for the record, I'm not saying any of this is bad. At all.

Don't miss the Poblenou Cemetery. Not kidding.

Interesting things to do in 22@: mmmm well, there is the cheapest gas station in da city. You can also drink really good orchata. If you like horchata, of course... And, yeah, there is this martial arts academy I go to, so I can release the unbearable tension of living in 22@. Did I mention the beach? 

Summing up, 22@ is a really nice place to live and work, but if you wanna have fun... Stay away! Run! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Summer is coming

Brace yourselves! Actually, we should thank our friend global warming for this neverending summer keeping us warm all year long :)

This means outdoor activities are already kicking in: electronic brunches, flea markets, beach volley meet up events and short film festivals no one gives a shit about leading the european industry. Welcome to Rarcelona!

The one good thing about this cheap spanish version of gotham city is hotels popping up every now and then, and... wait for it... you are usually allowed to use THEIR TERRACE! How amazing is that? Yes please, demolish that old panties store and build another VINCCI!

I would totally sell this church to New York and built here a 130 store hostel

By the way, our new stalinist mayor intends to sell one of biggest port container terminals to Grimaldi, in order to let a few more tourists get raped in La Rambla. Many thanks Ada, thought you said you were sick of them... Next time I'm voting for Trump.

Let's get started

Here we go again. Don't stop me now! Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep, dreaming about the things that we could be. It's the eye of the tiger. He's a scumbag don't you know?

Damn. Every time I try to write in english just come up with lyrics. I guess that's how it works with second languages, right? RIGHT? *smiles nervously*

So, what's going on? This is an interesting week for our beloved city: Mobile World Congress is on fire, gathering prostitutes from all around the world. Oh, and also many engineers, salesman and so on...

Zuckerberg is running the fuck up Montjuïc and posting it on Facebook. At least he had mercy on us and didn't post his stupid runner statistics. By the way, he and his wife had dinner at the kitchen of one of the best restaurants in da city, Caelis. For real, in da kitchen, they didn't feel like mixing with ordinary people. These guys only eat food directly from the pan of michelin-star rated chefs. Well, I'm sorry our crappy ramblas restaurants are not enough for you, sir!

Sit in one of those, fasten your seatbelt and enjoy the ride

When you thought things couldn't get any worse, a subway strike has strike (does this make any sense?) this congress. In addition to the already awful public transportation service, employers have decided to complain about their safe jobs and exceptionally high salaries. Good luck guys.

Gotta go now, I'm browsing for some tickets to sneak in one of those fancy MWC after-work parties. Yesterday I attended one of those and I got a piece of cake FOR FREE.

Thanks for your time.